The Detox

So as most people know, I am a party girl/raver or whatever you want to call me. I just call it me having fun :)

Alcohol, cigarettes and weed are my partners in crime, although I wouldn't say this was anything to be proud of. I drink and smoke because I can and I enjoy the feeling, so why stop something I enjoy huh?

I started this "party" lifestyle I would say around the age of 14/15. My first clubbing experience was at 15 and I bloody loved it lol. Weekends became drinking time for me and my people and things that were once a bad habit became the lifestyle I live today.

Although I was used to living this lifestyle, coming to uni definitely increased the amount I drunk and smoked. Within the first couple of months of university, I forgot what the word sober meant.

So the other day I decided my body was in desperate need of a detox. I'm not in the worst shape but changes definitely need to be made. Yesterday I got my first toothache ever :( and I know it has to do with all the smoking I do. Summer soon come so a bit of toning would be perfect also. 

So because of this, a detox is now in place. 

NO CIGARETTES OR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION FOR A MONTH. Yep you read right, a whole damn 4 weeks. Any cravings for cigarettes will be replaced by fruit and water will be my new favourite drink. Regular trips to the gym also. 

However I've decided if I try cut out weed at the same time, it won't last so one step at a time. Although only blunts are allowed (no cigarette) LOL!

It's currently been 4 days and I'm so proud :)

Its become "one of those days" everyday

I'm sat here wondering when this feeling will actually shift. Life is short so why am I sat here lost trying to plan my next move? 

My mind is accomodating a confusion of thoughts and my body is physically and spiritually drained. A fast paced life is fun, but when the energy runs out, what happens next?

For the past 4 years I have lived a lifestyle, based around friendships, luxuries and partying, but are these the things, which have lead me to be feeling like this now?

So many questions and not enough answers. 

I put my loved ones before myself in every situation, ensuring their safety and happiness before my own. But who looks out for me? Who makes sure Hannah is ok? 

I am slowly learning that being selfish, is the only way to go in this world, equally no one should be trusted, because when it comes down to it, the majority of people will put themself first. 

My problem is though, how do I develop this selfish manner when it is not in my nature, in order to protect myself from getting hurt. 

I'm not sitting here writing this entry for sympathy. Sympathy makes me feel weak, and that I am not. I aim to find answers and maybe putting this down in physical form will help me to find these.

No one but myself will help me to lift this feeling, but in order for me to solve he problem, I must first understand the problem

"The best nights are those that are unplanned ..."

So it's Thursday afternoon and I get a ping from one of my darling wives asking what I was on. 2 hours later she was on the coach to Manchester. The day before, I brought home 3 bottles of Rose and a mac Henny so I knew the night was going to be eventful :) When me and Md get together it's a madness anyway but with alcohol involved, I feel sorry for anyone around us. We always say to each other, the spontaneous nights are always the best, and once again we were proven right (y)

Since September, when I moved away for uni, my life became even crazier than before. There's been incredible highs and a few lows, I've lost friends and gained even more

but you know what I don't regret a single moment. 

Another one to add to the collection...

I am fully in love with my new philtrum piercing :) :)

I was thinking about it for way too long, so yesterday when I woke up, I made it happen.

The pain was immense compared to my labret (which I had numbed) but it was oh so worth it.

Piercings are such an addictive thing for me and I'm not ashamed. I don't get them to impress anyone else, they're for me. I think this will probably be the last facial one, but there's plenty more room in my ears :)

What is free will?

Ok so it's Valentines day and I have just backed a bottle of Pineot Grigio in approximately 30 minutes. 

Usually when the drink is flowing, this can lead to discussion in the CC16 household. 

It started with some talk of Religion when my housemate stated the majority of it was "organised faith" and some other comments I didn't agree with.

I myself was brought up in a Christian household, but as time went on and I started to see things for myself, stuff I had been told previously was now being questioned.

From a young age I was taught we were all put on this earth with free will, but is it possible to have free will when so many things around us in today's world influence us subconsciously and consciously? 

My argument was that everyone has free will. In my eyes free will is the essence of being able make your own choices, be them right or wrong. No one, but yourself can control your body or make you perform actions that you don't want to perform. 

Ben's argument (my housemate): no one has free will, and this is because as we grow up, our surroundings, social lifes etc are forever influencing our trains of thought and actions.

At the end of the day, I am a very stubborn person, and I refuse to change my argument. Although at the same time it was nice to hear somebody elses thoughts on the issue.The discussion went on for way too long for me to go into detail about every point, but Ben's argument definately did get my brain ticking. 

Exit Through The Gift Shop

As part of some work for uni, I've just watched the film/documentary 'Exit through the gift shop' directed by street artist Banksy.

If you're interested in your grafitti/street art I highly recommend you watch this. 

Gives you a good insight into this new form of art, whilst being able to take a journey with artists such as, Banksy, Mr Brainwash and Shepard Fairey

After months of contemplation, I have finally created a blog *waits for applause*

Every minute of every day, crazy ideas, theories, and all that other good stuff confusingly runs around in my head, so in order to protect my sanity why not share it with you all :)

Sooo I guess this is my first post, I am now officially a blogger.

Ciao, Auf Wiedersehen, Au Revoir, Adios yeah yeah yeah